Today, I was chilling out and watching a few videos on YouTube, like you do when you’re bored. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular but I noticed a few videos about Tess Holliday. Tess Holliday is a controversial
With a huge social media following, Tess became the first model of her size to become signed to a major agency. At 5ft 5in and a UK size 26, you can see why she is such a controversial figure. As well as signing with Milk Model Management, she has also released her own book. “The Not So Subtle Art of Being A Fat Girl: Loving The Skin You’re In” is her story, used to inspire others to accept themselves… as they are. She talks about becoming fat at only ten years old, bullying and her journey to finding self-love. I am pretty on the fence with Tess. On one hand, she has taken positive action to make young women everywhere feel empowered. Due to her achievements, she has made it easier for people to feel good about themselves and I can’t be mad at that. Although, I have read some pretty shady posts about her business ethics that have made me question her ethics… and her motives. Make no mistake, I am in no way writing this blog post with any kind of bias towards her. Instead, I am writing this to address the negativity that I have seen online in a positive way. Most of the comments that I see tend to be from the same type of people. Those who proclaim to care so much that they are somehow doing us a favour by pointing out how imperfect we are. Those who are so caring that they resort to bullying and negativity because they feel that they are better than us… they don’t understand how anyone that size can find anything about themselves to love. I mean why would we, being fat is ‘vile’, ‘ugly’ and even ‘repulsive’ (their words, not mine).
So here’s the way I see it…
I’m also sick of this, being obese isn’t healthy in any way. I don’t understand how someone can feel comfortable and attractive while consisting of mostly fat.
Even if you believe that your intentions are good, what do you expect will happen here? Do you honestly think that Tess, or any other person for that matter, is going to read your comments and think… “Oh, I wish I knew that before. Then I wouldn’t have got fat and I would love myself!” If you think that is the case then, you are delusional. Newsflash! All we see is an attempt to make us feel even worse than we already do about ourselves. You are not helping us. Instead, you are telling us that we have no right to feel comfortable or attractive because we are fat… and this can have devastating consequences. People claim that you cannot love yourself if you do not take care of yourself… and if you take care of yourself, you must be thin and healthy. My opinion on this; you have to learn to love yourself as you are and then the care will follow. Remember though, it is your body and ONLY YOU get to make decisions on how to do that.
Tess isn’t helping anyone by making morbid obesity “acceptable”. It’s dangerous and irresponsible. Eating yourself to death isn’t beautiful it’s sick. I’m not saying being anorexic is better. No eating disorder is healthy or attractive. But this whole new “accepting the body standard” thing is bullshit. Just because the American standard for weight is being WELL overweight, doesn’t mean it’s something we need to accept. We HAVE to shift our thinking.
The body positive movement, like Tess, is not trying to encourage people to put on weight. The whole point of the movement is to let people know that it is okay to like yourself regardless of what you look like. No matter your size, shape, colour or gender, etc, you have the right to be happy. We need to put a stop to shaming people and making them feel bad about themselves… especially when it is being camouflaged as fake concern. Instead of this, we should be addressing the 80% of 9-11 year olds that fear being fat. They fear it so much that they have been on diets before their bodies have even finished developing. The same children who are more scared of becoming fat than losing one or both of their parents… Now isn’t that fucked up?
To truly love your body you need to take care of it. You can’t love your body if you eat crap and sit around all day. A proper diet and regular exercise and taking care of yourself is self love. That’s what the body positive movement should be about. But I feel that people like Tess are distorting it to be it’s ok to be obese and that everyone else should be ok because your fine. And she may be fine with how she looks but she isn’t healthy, she is sick, she isn’t overweight like she claims she’s morbidly obese, and she doesn’t love her body.
First off, how can you tell someone that they don’t love their body? Well, here’s my thoughts on it. You most likely view yourself as average. Unfortunately you have not yet found the confidence within yourself to accept your body as it is… flaws and all. So, how is it possible that someone to be happy when they look the complete opposite of what you strive for. Am I close? Looking back on both my own and other people’s behaviours I have realised that we, as humans are flawed. Whenever, we feel threatened, or uncomfortable we lash out. We are miserable so the whole world needs to be miserable with us. So it makes sense that when we are unhappy about how we look, we want everyone else to be unhappy too. Lashing out at someone else is not actually a reflection of our feelings towards them… rather a reflection of the feelings we have for yourself. So how do we fix this? Well, next time you feel yourself lashing out at someone who doesn’t fit your ideal, think about why you are doing it and then spend some time focusing on the real issue… You! Also, without reviewing a person’s medical records it is impossible to comment on their health. I mean sure, there are a lot of fat people who suffer from bad health, but guess what? There are also a lot of thin people who suffer from bad health too. We don’t talk about that though because they look healthy so it’s okay. Speaking of health, hands up if you have ever been on a diet… I have! Keep your hand up if you have tried more than one diet… Yep, me too! I bet you didn’t know that dieting is actually more harmful than obesity though, huh?
Secondly, without reviewing someone’s health records it is impossible to comment on another
Studies have shown that those who regularly control calorific intake are at risk of producing higher levels of Cortisol. Cortisol is a stress hormone that can lead to weight gain. It can also cause heart disease, diabetes and cancer among other
Here’s the thing, according to science everything is bad for us. One minute red wine gives us heart disease, the next minute it is good for the heart… the truth is nothing is black and white. Is it a bad thing for Tess, and many others body positive advocates, including myself, to want everyone to feel good about themselves? Empowered to love the skin they are in no matter what that skin happens to looks like. Anyone would think that Tess is telling everyone to become obese, which is not the case. All she is doing is empowering people to feel beautiful… something which EVERYONE deserves to feel about themselves.
Well that’s it from me but before I bid you farewell I will leave you with this…