Five years ago, if someone called me fat I would have died a little inside and then retreated to the safe and comfortable space of my own home…So what’s changed?
Well, for starters I found the wonderful body positive movement and it completely changed my life, as well as the way I looked at myself and others. The best part is, it can work for you too regardless of your body type, you just need to have an open mind and be willing to see yourself without the social constructs placed on us.
Don’t get me wrong, the journey from self loathing to self love has not been an easy one. In fact it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, tears, tantrums, depression and reclusiveness but has it been worth it… Hell Yeah!
Although I still have bad days on the whole I am a much more positive, confident and happy person than I once was, instead of seeing the world how society dictates I now see the beauty in everything and more importantly everyone! A wise person once told me ‘Be yourself, love yourself because everyone else is taken’ and this is now my mantra. I am who I am and I can’t do anything about it so I might as well love myself instead of trying to turn myself into
something someone that I can never be.
So now, I have learnt to look in the mirror and see a beautiful, confident woman staring back at me and guess what – she’s fat!
She’s fat, but that is perfectly okay because as Jes Baker puts it in her book, calling myself fat is no different to saying that I am wearing black shoes. It is a description, a description that I cannot hide from because like it or not, it the first thing you notice when you look at me but it does not define me.
It doesn’t define me because I no longer let it. Yes I am fat but no I’m not going to stop myself from going on that summer holiday because I don’t want people seeing me in my swimming gear and no I’m not going to miss out on wearing what I want because society dictates that I should cover my ‘obscene’ fat rolls up.
And to all those people who are reading this and thinking ‘Oh dear, here goes another fat girl trying to convince herself that she is beautiful and healthy’ you clearly are not paying attention because if you were you would see that I am in no way saying that being fat is a healthy choice, just like I am not saying that that being thin is a healthy choice – there is much more to it that that. What I am saying is, it is MY choice and I should not be shamed because of this. No matter what size, shape, colour or gender you are, EVERYONE has the right to love themselves and as soon as the world realises this it will be a much happier and harmonious place.
So, if you’ve read this far thank you and I hope this can be the start of a beautiful friendship, let me know about your own personal experiences, whether you have embraced your beautiful self or have just began your journey – I would love to hear from you!
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